De nerdibus

15mm Zulu War British

2012-02-12T03:06:00.000-08:00

Well, I can honestly say that painting Zulus is a lot easier than painting Colonial-era British soldiers. Nonetheless, the Old Glory soldiers painted up easily, and any roughness in the paint job is the fault of the artist, not the caster. I left a few of the helmets white. I figured that the officer would not go for such a craven practice as camouflage, and the sergeant would just be too badass to feel the need to hide his gleaming white helmet. The others are just rookies who don't know any better. I chose to paint both jacket and trousers several shades lighter than color charts would indicate. I'm glad of my decision. Both came out dark as it is.

At this rate, I can be done with the whole lot by May. As I wrote before, though, I doubt I'll be able to wait that long before I start on the terrain and have an old-school fracas in my basement.

Zulu! The first batch is finished!

2012-02-09T17:00:00.000-08:00

Less than a week after I received my shipment of Old Glory 15's, I finished my first batch of 21 zulus. The sculpts are of married warriors in battle dress, which is fairly accurate for Rorke's Drift, where two of the three zulu regiments which attacked it were of married warriors. i chose to paint the shields brown and white, and I understand that older warriors typically carried whiter shields. I thought brown looked cooler, though, and in my book, cool trumps historical accuracy. I enjoy doing the historical research, but I don't kid myself as to why I'm painting these bad boys: they're toys for me to play with.

Next up is a platoon of twenty British soldiers. My ambition is to get 40 Zulus and 20 Brits painted. Then I'll move on to the terrain board and fight my first skirmish. Once I give the rules a test drive, it's on to do another 60 Zulus and 20 Brits. At that point, I think I'll be ready to assault Rorke's Drift.

Zulu! The first batch begins...

2012-02-07T14:17:00.001-08:00

My first batch consists of 46 Zulus and 21 British. As you can see, I glued the shields on, and most are holding well enough. Three snapped off in the early stages. I'm hoping that the spray primer I'm using is load-bearing. The shields look pretty good, after all, though some seem to be held with European-style straps rather than in the Zulu manner, held by the hand. I like these scuplts. They convey a sense of energy and they already look good en masse, even in their unpainted state. Click the photo below to see it enlarged.

Here are five British poses. The sand I used to texture the bases all came from my daughter's shoes. She accumulated so much every day at recess that I joked that I could build an army out of all she brought home. The prophesy is fulfilled...

Rorke's Drift: Out of the Box (A review)

2012-02-07T02:14:00.002-08:00

Well, no sooner had I finished up my last batch of 10mm medievals when I I found the Old Glory boxed set of Rorkes Drift waiting for me. I received it almost exactly two weeks after ordering, which is great considering times for casting and shipping. And this sucker is heavy...

I considered the Warlord 28mm Rorkes Drift with plastic figures but realized that I would never have a table large enough to do it justice. Furthermore, it came with plastic figures and, well, let's just say that glue is my mortal enemy. Any plasic figures that I glued together would look like people who got rejected from a leper colony because they were not healthy enough. Furthermore, I paint 28mm figures at about a rate of a figure a day when I am working in batches. Doing a horde of Zulus would leave me a very old man before I was finished. Instead, I went for the Old Glory 15mm set, and I'm glad I did.

The set comes with a serviceable set of skirmish rules, but I think I will stick with Smooth and Rifled. Of greater value is the schematic of the compound. I figure a 6x4 table should be more than plenty to give the Zulus room to maneuver and for the British rifles to do their bloody work at range.

Here are the Zulus. 300 of 'em. I like the castings a lot, and what little flash there was could be picked off with a stout thumbnail. There are about a half-dozen poses (plus another two with rifles), making for a good variety within the warband. The pack you see below contains the shields. 300 of them. Remember what I said about glue? They all have to be fixed to the Zulu arms. There are pegs cast for guidance, but I had to file down or remove most of these, as they stood up too far. By the time I got the first 20 shields mounted on the Zulus, my fingers were so crusted with glue that I probably could have secured a space in that leper colony.

Now we come to the Brits. The bags are a lot lighter compared with those of the Zulus! The small pack has three officers, and I presume the larger one has 59 infantrymen. There are five infantry poses (standing firing, kneeling firing, at ready, loading, and what is either a charge or hip-firing). I have seen others quibble with the size and shape of the helmets, but they look good enough to me.

Next come mealy bags, biscuit boxes, and accessories like the stairs of the hospital. I was surprised to see that these were cast in metal, not resin. They are solid and will make good game accessories. Both bags and boxes are stacked very neatly. The RSM must have been a stickler for detail!

Finally, the buildings. The storehouse, the hospital, and even the tiny bakehouse are all represented. These are cast in resin and have removable roofs. I was glad of this, since part of the fun of Rorkes Drift is the desperate fighting inside the hospital. The buildings are nicely scaled with low roofs on which to perch figures. The hospital does not have a second storey in which to station figures. The stairs go up to a tiny loft door. The floor plans inside are simple, and perhaps they could be broken up further with dividers if I were so inclined (though I'm not likely to be!). The doors can be removed (I won't) and some of the open windows have flash in them. I realize that this is part of the casting process that cannot be avoided, but I have yet to find a clean and elegant way to remove it. Also included is the large kraal and the last redoubt. I have no doubt that these are to scale, but as I am mounting my troops on pennies, I suspect they will both get cramped when occupied by troops.

Overall, I'm very happy with the value and quality of the boxed set. I've never tried a skirmish-level game with 15mm before, but I think this is the right scale for this game. I'd never have the time or patience to do justice to 300 28mm zulus!

Now to watch the movies again for inspiration, and then off to fetch my glue and paints.

Here they come again!

2012-02-03T08:22:00.000-08:00

Well, I've finally seen the movie Zulu one too many times. My next project will be a Rorke's Drift setup in 15mm. I've ordered the minis from Old Glory and hope they will be here soon. The period has interested me ever since I was the film. I like the idea of two aggressive, sophisticated armies, both at the top of their game, with a huge technological gap between them and a gross disparity in numbers. How can you fail to have fun, as long as you are not using real assegai and Martini-Henry's?

I may look at the Black Powder rules as I get in the period and offer the Zulus a chance to wet their spears at Isandlwana, but for my early games I plan to use the Zulu War supplement for Dadie e Piombo's Smooth and Rifled game. A few years ago, I might have gone with The Sword and the Flame, but S&R seems to be state of the art, fast-paced, and fun. I hope to have the full game ready by summer time. I'll post regular updates between now and then.

Now to clear the benches by completing my 10mm medievals...

2012-01-25T09:10:00.000-08:00

I was delighted to see that I'm finally on the cutting edge of gaming. "Charlie Don't Surf," a set of Vietnam-era rules published by Too Fat Lardies, was named by users of The Miniatures Page as the best new rulesset of the year. It looks like a game that captures the pressure and tension of that conflict while managing to be a fun and exciting game at the same time. Can't wait to paint up my minis this summer and get started. Watch this space...

http://toofatlardies.co.uk/blog/?p=739

Yeah...they're teaching tools.

2011-12-06T15:42:00.002-08:00

This is my annual Napoleonic diorama that I use to teach about warfare in the early 19th century. My freshmen are all suitably impressed, especially when they learned that I painted every miniature on the tabletop in under three months time.

I discuss tactics, Napoleon's generalship (and the extent to which he can be considere
d an innovator), and the role played by new concepts like nationalism and total war in the conflicts of the period.

In case you're wondering, they're Austrians in the foreground and French/Allied in the background. Let's call this the Battle of Demonstrationberg, a small and obscure battle in the 1809 Danube campaign.

Yeah...they're teaching tools.

2011-12-06T15:42:00.001-08:00

This is my annual Napoleonic diorama that I use to teach about warfare in the early 19th century. My freshmen are all suitably impressed, especially when they learned that I painted every miniature on the tabletop in under three months time.

I discuss tactics, Napoleon's generalship (and the extent to which he can be considered an innovator), and the role played by new concepts like nationalism and total war in the conflicts of the period.

Walking the Philadelphia Campaign

2011-10-18T12:24:00.000-07:00

After reading about the Philadelphia Campaign of 1777 and playing out a simulation of the Battle of Germantown in class, my Military History class took a battlefield walk of important Revolutionary War sites int he area. We started in Germantown, visiting both the Chew House (second photo below. Some battle damage is still visible on the wall) and the locaiton of the main British lines. The original site of our school was used as a hospital by the British during teh Battle, so we got to view the old schoolhouse, too.

We took a trip to the former paper mill of Rittenhousetown, where the Pennsylvania Militia unsuccessfully tried to pin the British left with an attack across the Wissahickon Gorge. There are few more vivid examples of how terrain can shape tactical decisions.

The, after a stop at a Revolutionary-era food court, we went to Valley Forge, site of teh winter encampment of 1777-8. The students checked out the huts and gained an appreciation for the living condition, even on a gorgeous fall day.

After checking out the outer defenses, we visited the artillery park and discussed the importance of a reserve.

The Battle of Germantown: A class exercise, pt. 4

2011-10-07T02:38:00.000-07:00

We break for the long weekend with some serious shooting but no units lost so far. The Americans have been aggressive but the British have countered every move so far. The students have been getting into the game, with cheers for amazing rolls and jokes about runs of bad luck: scenes that would be familiar to many veteran gamers. I created a very simple set of wargaming rules, and several students have already asked for more complexity. For instance, I freely allow friendly units to pass through each other. Someone asked me "But shouldn't that make their lines disorganized?" Smart kid.

The American right is a mess. Swarms of militia and riflemen try to take out a small command of Hessians. But those are some tough little Germans. They had to roll a 10+ on two dice to stand up to a dragoon charge after having been shot up real good. They're still there...

The Brits hold a strong position in the center, which the Americans are attempting to flank by advancing through the woods. The Americans opened an artillery duel in the center but quickly took the worst of it.

Some Tory militia try to hold off a strong push against the British right. Crappy rolling by the Continental commander is making the Yanks rethink their offensive.

The Battle of Germantown: A school project, pt. 3

2011-10-06T01:22:00.000-07:00

After our second day of gaming, the armies are close enough to start shooting. Washington's army bypassed the Chew House and advanced across the rough terrain in the center. A violent fight for the woods in the center appears to be in the works. The Pennsylvania riflemen on the left bank of the Wissahickon (close to my house!) got the first volley in, but a return volley by the British drew the first blood. Will they have the numbers needed to follow up? What will happen when the American left crashes into the outnumbered British defenders? We have one more class before the long weekend...

The Battle of Germantown, A Class Project, pt. 2

2011-10-05T02:48:00.001-07:00

The game is underway, with the students being given roles, deploying troops, and playing through their first turn. Some shelling of the Chew House, but overall the guns have been silent.

Below, the British Generals plan their strategy.

And the American generals put on their angry faces as they prepare their attack.

Below is the battlefield after one turn. The Americans have chosen not to put pressure on the British left by advancing down Ridge Pike. Instead, they are putting most of their forces on the British right. By and large Washing is choosing to bypass the Chew House, a move which will slow his attack but will probably give him a larger punch when he hits British defenses.

The Battle of Germantown: A Class Project, pt. 1

2011-10-04T08:38:00.000-07:00

I teach a Military History elective to high school seniors. Because of my school's history, we examine the Battle of Germantown (1777) as a case study. This year, there are twelve students in my class. One student on each side takes the role of Washington or Howe, and the other students play the roles of divisional commanders. Below is the game board I made for the game, just plywood with paint and flocking. We are looking north. Germantown Pike is the road that runs from south to north. And the Wissahickon Creek (which cuts through my school's current campus) runs up the left side of the board. Fortunately, I have a big Harkness table in my classroom which gives us ample room for the simulation.

The figures are 6mm AWI Baccus. They're a little tricky to see, but they fit nicely in a small space so we can get a whole class around the gaming table. Here is some Continental line infantry.

Below is the entire American command. Each division was assigned a card that the Commanders in Chief used for unit placement. We had read both Clausewitz and Sun Tzu, so I wanted to simulate the 'fog of war' as much as possible. Especially because the fog of war at Germantown was said to be a real pea-souper.
And here is the British Command.
I've done this simulation before, but this year I have simplified the rules, since my gamers are absolute novices. Changing formation takes a full turn, and players choose between a line and march column. Shooting forces a morale check. One failed check results in disorder. A disordered unit which fails a check is eliminated.

Another year begins for the GAmes Club

2011-09-23T15:43:00.001-07:00

The GA Games club is about to get up and running, and what better way to ring in the new school year than an old-school shootout? The small size of the playing surface made it perfect for my new classroom, and the simple 'Fistful of Lead' rules are a perfect intro for new gamers.

Yee-haw. Yee-haw indeed.

From De nerdibus

Even cowgirls get the urge to shoot-em-up!

From De nerdibus

Smile when you say that, pardner.

From De nerdibus

Badgers? We got no badgers! We doan need no stinkin' badgers!

From De nerdibus

Fistful of Lead, a playtest

2011-08-01T14:12:00.000-07:00

Well, I ran my first game of Fistful of lead. The scenario was pretty simple: two gangs shooting it out. Clint and the Airedale Gang going up against Duke and the Scruffy Bunch. It was not intended as an equal fight. Clint's boys numbered five against the Scruffy four, and they also had an advantage in long arms: a shotgun and a rifle against a shotgun. To cap it off, on the first turn, they drew really well with their movement cards, enabling them to take up defensive positions. Clint himself stayed in a building as insurance. Turned out to the be most decisive move of the battle.

one of Clint's gangs went up to the rooftops, but he was rapidly gunned down when he exposed himself to the fire of pretty much all of the Scruffy Bunch. First shot of the game resulted in a kill. Dang, I said to myself. These rules are lethal.

I did not use my house rule for overwatch. I wanted to test the system as written. That pretty much meant that once the Airedales had moved, the Scruffy bunch could move into the street and start blasting away. Some lucky shots had the Airedales diving for cover. Could they pull off an upset?

Not bloody likely. Clint and his buddy with the rifle both had full cover for most of the game as a result of their initial moves. That enabled them to blaze away without fear of reprisal. Insurance pays, apparently, and it would have been even more deadly with overwatch rules in place, as the the Airedales who ran into the street would have been sitting ducks. Anyhow, the Scruffy Bunch's advantage did not last long, as the Airedales who hit the dirt all popped up on the same turn and, with some lucky shots, took out two Scruffy boys. Another was wounded, and from that point on, the weight of numbers took their toll. Duke himself took four wounds before being dropped, and a valiant last shot wined one of his enemies. His story ended, though, face down in a dusty Western town.

From De nerdibus

This set of rules was as fun as I thought they would be. I played out this scenario in under 40 minutes from start to finish. The playing chard movement mechanism presented some interesting choices. There are enough special cards that the order in which one activates units makes a difference. Do you move units for maximum combat advantage, or do you use that Queen to remove a wounded condition on one of your fallen gunslingers? The simplicity of the rules might deter some. I have seen Gutshot, and I think it is an excellent simulation, but if what you're looking for is some fast furious action, FoL is a blast. Simple and elegant mean that rules lawyers might actually have to shut up and enjoy themselves.

Yippee Ki Yi Yay!

2011-07-26T13:41:00.000-07:00

Well, I've been dropping hints for some months now that I'm working on an Old Western project. I've been wanting to do a 19th century skirmish wargame for a long time now. I considered the British colonial wars, especially the Zulu War, having fond memories of playing the Sword and the Flame a few decades ago. I thought maybe the American Civil War, the Boxer Rebellion, and even the Napoleonic era (there's a well-reviewed set of rules called Sharp Practice). But, shoot, I'm an American, and though I'm East Coast elite through and through, the Old West still looms large in my cultural imagination. I grew up watching The Magnificent Seven, High Noon, and Rio Bravo on UHF. So Old West it was going to be.

I looked at about a half dozen rules sets. "Gutshot" and "Cowboy Wars" both had a lot to recommend it. But I was looking for simple, fast, and bloody. Fortunately, I picked up a copy of "Fistful of Lead" at Historicon. The rules cover about four pages, they use a deck of playing cards, and they look like fun. Boom. All three of my criteria met. I'm thinking about some house rules (like holding an action and giving gunfighters different ratings for Shootin', Fightin' and Guts), but I don't want to lose too much of the elegant simplicity.

I found a sheet of insulating foam about 8'x2' in the trash of a construction site. Using a foam cutter I sculpted some hills, painted everything light brown, then scattered sand into the wet paint. Total cost so far, about $1 for craft store acrylic paint. The sand I got from my daughter's shoes. She brings home a fistful of sand after school every day. I've been saving it.

I picked up three resin buildings from the Old Glory booth at Historicon. With my 40% discount, all three wound up being $42. I then sculpted two more houses out of balsa wood, foam core, and Starbucks coffee stirrers. I also made some adobe huts out of foamcore ($1 a sheet at the Dollar Store) and bamboo skewers. Then, some cacti from Pegasus models and I'm ready to go. Total cost, under $50.

The figures are all Old Glory. The Mexicans are Zapataistas, but they can double for banditos when they're in a less revolutionary mood. The gunfighters are also from the Old Glory "American Experience" line. It took a little practice to get back into painting 28mm figures after doing 10mm for so long. I'm working on my techniques for painting eyes, shading, and sculpting bases. I've even begun adding tufts of tall grass to some bases.

As always, click to enlarge the photos.

First, two long shots of the table.

Here is El Gato Gordo and his band of ruffians in the adobe village. One shot used the flash, the other didn't.

Here's a wide shot of the town.

Here's Clint and the Airedale Gang. If you've ever met an Airedale Terrier, you just know they're tough.

The building in the right foreground and the grey one with blue trim are my scratch-built houses.

My kids think the outhouse is funny.

Finally, we have Duke and the Scruffy Bunch. If one gang was going to be named after a former dog, then the other would have to be named after a former cat.

Old West houses

2011-07-21T05:11:00.001-07:00

The Old West skirmish games at Historicon were inspiring, so I got off my duff and started painting up my Old Glory gunfighters and banditos. While I was at Historicon, I picked up some great resin southwestern buildings. However, to have a proper town, I decided to scratch-build some houses out of balsa. Here are the results of my first efforts. The house on the left is actually painted a weathered grey, but the digital photo rendered it light blue. I'm pretty happy with the results, though I will never use craft acrylics for anything other than a kid's poster. It took five coats to paint these guys, and some serious bracing efforts to prevent to wood from warping (you can see the roof on the left house has taken on a barn-like shape). The total cost of materials was less than $5 per house, and total time was about two and a half hours each from planning to the final touches of paint.

Miniature Wargames: Free!

2011-07-20T03:06:00.000-07:00

So, if you're a wargamer like me, you're particularly fond of two things: free stuff (I'm off to Starbucks today to pick up some coffee stirrers for use as 28mm planking), and sources of inspiration. The folks at Miniature Wargames magazine, in an effort to get you to look at their pages, have asked bloggers like me to offer a link to a free sample issue. It's worth supporting publications like these, either through patronizing their advertisers or through a direct subscription, because they help those of us in the hobby connect with each other and with the manufacturers and merchandisers we depend on.

So give them a click. The free issue is on the left.

10mm Medievals assemble!

2011-07-16T01:56:00.000-07:00

Historicon inspired me to pick up the pace of painting once again. I completed my third batch of 10mm medievals, enough for a good-sized rumble in Impetus. I still have two more batches to go before I make it a club game. But since I'm taking a detour to the Old West, I thought I would post pictures of what I have at the moment.

As always, click to enlarge.

Historicon: Borodino

2011-07-14T02:55:00.001-07:00

This is my last installment from Historicon. My final game a Borodino scenario was run by Tod Kershner. I was drawn by the idea of a (nearly) all-cavalry engagement in the Napoleonic Wars. This particular engagement was a moment at Borodino where several Russian cavalry divisions tried to retake the fleches captured by the French.

Below is my command. The Russian Dragoons on the right flank. Imagine my surprise and horror when I saw the French player maneuver two divisions to counter me. Fortunately, he ran into traffic problems, and my position became something of a trap for the French as I brought my artillery to bear.

Here are the lovely lancers who were the first into the meat grinder. By the time they regrouped, we were at the fleches.

And some French heavies from the other side of the battlefield. Over there, it was less about maneuvering and more about a massive and bloody scrum.

Historicon: Battle of Ruschuk

2011-07-11T02:54:00.000-07:00

Here are some photos of a game I played in on Saturday: The Battle of Ruschuk. This little scrap too place in 1811, between the Turks and the Russians. It is an aspect of the Napoleonic wars I know nothing about. The Turks basically came to the battle with a medieval army, a really big medieval army. The Russias found themselves heavily outnumbered by an army of significantly poor quality. You know, the role they usually play.

The battle was fought with 28mm soldiers using Shako II rules. I'm new to Shako, but they were easy enough to pick up. I learned how devastating artillery can be to densely packed units. On the whole, though, the rules came easily and the game moved along swiftly. We pretty much cleared this table of lead in under four hours.

Anyhow, the Turks began the battle with an insane amount of cavalry. Mind you, they were going up against Russians already formed into squares, so they didn't last long. In fact, after turn 4, the only Turkish equine left on the battlefield was the donkey pulling our baggage train...!

The Turkish infantry had a tough slog then into the Russian lines without much cavalry support. In retrospect, we should have coordinated our assault better, holding the cav back for two turns or so. Then our problem would likely have been crowd control.

Anyhow, the Turks marched to the slaughter, and it looked like it was a hopeless cause until we got to the inevitable "Well what would have happened if we played on" stage of the game. Based on the outcome of a few hypothetical dice rolls, the Russian center would have collapsed and we would have ended up achieving our main objective! Crazy.

Anyhow, a big thanks to Dave Reiners and his friends for setting this one up. The figures were gorgeous, the scenario was challenging for both sides, and I had a blast.

Historicon: Gnome Wars

2011-07-10T03:19:00.001-07:00

My favorite table at Historicon was the setup by Miniature Building Authority for their Gnome Wars series of games. Despite the silly premise, this table was spectacular.

The centerpiece of the table was this castle, which must have measured 4' in diameter, standing close to 3' above the table.

Bunny cav!

More historicon eye candy

2011-07-10T01:25:00.000-07:00

The theme of this year's Historicon was "Brother against Brother," so the American Civil War was well-represented.
Downtown Mogadishu, for a "Black Hawk Down" scenario.

WWII in the desert. From the look of it, Flames of War is huge, but competing rulesets do not appear to be going anywhere.

I thought this Egyptian tomb was gorgeous, and the award in the upper right hand corner suggest that the judges thought so, too.

This setup for the battle of Chattanooga (in 10mm, my favorite scale) was huge, covering at least 30 feet end to end. That's Lookout Mountain in the distance.

Historicon Photos

2011-07-09T17:58:00.000-07:00

Here's a few shots of Historicon, the larges Historical Miniatures convention in the world, and it's practically in my back yard (at the King of Prussia Convention Center). The crowd was largely old, white, portly, and male, but there was enough diversity in all categories to satisfy me that the hobby is moving past its old stereotypes.

I've been starting up some 25mm Old West Figures, and I found the following game table inspiring. It was over 20' long, with sectors covering an Old West town, a prospectors camp, a rocky mountain, a sandstone desert, and a southwestern Mission settlement. Got me psyched to buy my first Western Buildings from the nice people at Old Glory.

One of the coolest setups I saw, a highly detailed rendering of the landing beaches and trenches at Gallipoli. Made you feel sorry for any ANZAC confronted with it.

More eye candy to come soon!

Off to Historicon

2011-07-08T09:25:00.001-07:00

Yep, that's a banner for Historicon to the left (designed by none other than John Kovalic). That's where I'm going to be tomorrow, my first gaming convention in over a decade. I'll be sure to post lots of pictures of miniatures goodness!

Coolest...dad...ever

2011-07-02T08:14:00.000-07:00

Seriously, I'm jealous.

10mm Old Glory Knights

2011-05-28T06:22:00.000-07:00

I finished my first batch of 10mm knights, mounted for Impetus. I'm a clumsy painter, so I let myself follow the heraldry of the 12th-13th century. The figures (Old Glory Grand Scale 10mm) are sculpted for 15th century, so they're a little anachronistic. But have you seen taht 15th century heraldry? Ain't no paintbrush in the world that would work in 10mm scale. So I'll live with anachronism.

Hey, I have a Ph.D. in Medieval Studies. Who are you to criticize me? These knights reflect a "retro" craze that was all the rage in 1447. Yeah, that's it. I read it in an unpublished manuscript somewhere. So there.

Anyhow, I know I can do better than this. My ink wash came out a little heavy, resulting in a muddy look. At least the colors are bright, and one has to love the look of the Impetus "big bases".

In the first photo, my billmen are thinking that their days as tabletop soldiers are seriously numbered... (As always, click to enlarge)

And here, the knights show off their discipline in an echelon parade maneuver.

Did I mention that I was using these knights for fantasy battles as well? :)

My first 10mm Medievals!

2011-05-23T17:49:00.000-07:00

Just for kicks, I painted up a single unit of billmen for my 10mm medieval army. They are mounted for Impetus on a 60mm x 20mm base.

The Battle of PLaytest Moor: The Beginning of the End

2011-05-19T01:41:00.000-07:00

Well, the battle appears to have passed its crisis stage, and I must confess that my French have gotten the worst of it.

With the battle looking grim in the center and the right, the French light cavalry decides to launch into the damaged square of Landwehr in front of them. The landwehr rout, but the line infantry to the rear have time to form square, leaving our French cav vulnerable. They peel off, bloodied and disordered, but at least they managed to rattle the Austrian square.

In the center, while the French have driven off the hussar attack with a timely defense, their column is weakened and their line is wearing thin. Even though the Austrian reserve column is crappy landwehr, that may be all it takes at this stage of the game.

The Bavarians have driven off the Austrian advance guard, and it will come down to a slugfest in a turn or two. However, the Austrian cavalry, having demolished the battalion protecting the Bavarian flank will be in a position to tear into the Bavarian column in the flank, even if they are victorious in the melee.

So if I were a real-life French general at this point, I would signal a controlled retreat. Tactically, we could then declare the battle a draw (and Austrians would call it a major victory on their part. Later, historians would call it a minor defeat for the French). However, I'll play out one or two more turns, just because I like to punish myself.

Playtest Moor, the moment of crisis

2011-05-15T02:27:00.001-07:00

After four turns, the moment of crisis has arrived. While the battle is far from over, all reserves have committed. From this point on it's pretty much dice rolling.

This is the center, and as predicted this bloody scrum looks like it will determine the fate of the battle. The French skirmish screen has melted away. The French Brigade column has driven away the battered Austrian battalion before it, but now it must face a regiment of hussars. If it cannot stand a cavalry charge, the French heavy artillery behind it is vulnerable. Meanwhile, the French brigade on the other side of the river may finally see some action, but it looks unlikely to bring its full strength into battle.

Here on the French left, things have not changed much. The Austrian squares are taking a pounding, but reducing them is taking a long time.

On the French right, the Austrians have crossed the river. Another regiment of hussars has charged the Bavarian battalion left to guard the flank. Despite a devastating volley, the charge hit home (no time to form square). However, the hussars pursued their hapless foes, and they will be along time recovering. The French artillery on this flank has been pretty much taken out by a screen of jaegers who seem immune to cannister fire. The lead Austrian battalion was cut up pretty bad by the defenders, but now both sides are in a position to launch their attack columns. It will be a good test of brigade columns vs multiple assault columns.

Some rules tweaks are definitely in order. Hits on dense formations are easier to obtain, but they need to do more damage. While I wrote rules for multiple combatants, I need to add something for units behind a charge. Can cavalry behind a screen of infantry countercharge, or do they need to wait until the next turn.

I'm finding the combat system to be a grindfest up to a point, but once units lose a stand and/or go shaken, things go downhill very rapidly. I think I'll need another game to decide whether I like that or not.

10mm Medievals ready to go

2011-05-14T16:41:00.000-07:00

While my Napoleonics game is going on in the basement, I took advantage of a quiet hour to set up and prime a few units worth of medievals. I'm going to mount them for Impetus, which uses large bases, so it was necessary to glue them to popsicle sticks first, since they will be impossible to paint once they are based.

As predicted, the wire lances and spears proved to be a pain in the tucas. I'm not about to dremel holes in 50+ minis (there's no way that scenario is going to end well). So with a dab of cement, I propped the spears in the desires position and hoped for the best. After priming, three came loose and had to be reglued (you can see some of the damage in the photos). At least the riders went neatly on the horses.

I'm not looking forward to painting heraldry on the knights at this scale. On the plus side, the infantry should paint up fast. While I am not in as great a hurry as I was with the Napoleonics, I hope to have the first seven units done by the end of June.

Playtest Moor, the early turns

2011-05-13T10:21:00.000-07:00

The first two turns are complete. I'm happy with how quickly my rules play, and thus far, they seem to simulate Napoleonic battlefield conditions with the right "feel." I tend to subconsciously favor my own side when I play solo, but this has been anything but a walkover for the French. Depending on the next few turns, les Francais may have to slink off with their tails between their legs.

So on to the story of the battle. On the French left, things unfolded pretty much as expected. The forward Austrian battalions went into square at the first sight of the French cavalry. The French, with their advantage in artillery, proceeded to pound the Austrian squares. Progress is slow, however, and the French may have to risk a charge before the squares are thoroughly reduced. Then there is that second line of Austrian defense which will also have to be taken out. If one Austrian infantry brigade winds up holding off two brigades of French cavalry, it will be a major victory for the Austrians.

Hoo, man. This is where the battlefield gets messy. The French line is split by a river. One French Brigade is left on one bank of the river, facing a skeleton force of Austrian infantry, while the other brigade got hammered by a few fierce volleys from the Austrian jaegers. The Austrians, sensing weakness, launched their forward line in a charge. The French held on better than expected, bloodying some of those distinctive Hapsburg noses, but they are not likely to last another turn. The French are frantically trying to wheel their assault column into position for a counterattack, but if they do not win initiative next turn, they might get smacked in teh flank. Even if they do smash through the remnants of the Austrian charge, they will have to face off against an equal number of landwehr and a regiment of hussars.

Below is the lonely French brigade stranded across the river. Crossing will put them into disorder for an Austrian counter-attack, and maneuvering into road column in order to cross at the ford might make them too late to help their buddies.

The Bavarians threw two battalions into line to cover the rest of the brigade from moving up to the main central melee. The Austrians, sensing weakness, throw four line battalions and some hussars across the river. If those two line battalions do not put up a good showing, the entire French right is doomed!

(Man this is way more exciting than I thought)

The First Battle of Playtest Moor: Deployment

2011-05-10T07:22:00.000-07:00

Now that I have a substantial number of 10mm Napoleonics painted, I'm ready to try out the rules I wrote in a preliminary playtest battle (not yet ready for human consumption).

On the French side, I have three infantry brigades in a strong division with supporting artillery. One of the brigades consists of Bavarians. I've always had a soft spot for Bavarians, so it is with regret that I rated them "inferior" for this battle. The French also have two brigades of cavalry, one of chevaux-legeres and one of dragoons.

The Austrians have three strong infantry brigades. Two of them have a high proportion of landwehr troops. All have supporting cavalry and artillery, making each a well-balanced force. The Austrians also have a small brigade of dragoons.

I assigned each brigade on each side a sequantial playing card, red for French and black for Austrians.

As always, click the photos to see the bits that Blogspot cropped off for your protection.

From De nerdibus

Then I placed five sequential red cards (the Ace through five of diamonds) face up on the French edge of the board (I'm playing for the French side). Then placed six sequential black cards (the Ace through six of clubs) face down on the board on the Austrian edge. In other words, two of the Austrian 'brigades' were dummies which I would not find until they came within 12" of one of my cards.

From De nerdibus

Each side alternated moving cards. There were no terrain limits, and a player could elect to move the same card on consecutive turns. When cards came within 12" of each other, both were revealed. The moving player deployed the brigade in question first, followed by the other player. If the Austrians revealed a dummy, the French still had to deploy.

Here is the situation after the first four brigades have been revealed. The Austrian Dragoons wound up in the center, facing some French infantry on the far bank of a shallow river. Two other infantry brigades face each other across an important crossroads.

From De nerdibus

Here is the situation at the end of deployment. The French right looks particularly weak, as the Bavarians were revealed far from the action, so they were strung out in a road column. However, since the Austrians had more cards to move into deployment, they were able to maneuver into a flanking position. If they can get across the river quickly, the Bavarians are in deep doo-doo.

On the French left, the two cavalry brigades faces a single Austrian infantry brigade. The French have placed their heavy artillery in support, however, so if the Austrians respond by going into square, their own flank may end up being vulnerable.

From De nerdibus

Voila les francais!

2011-05-09T06:15:00.000-07:00

And here are the French units now deployed on my tiny little table. I used my camera phone to snap these, and I'm not happy with the photo quality. Once again, clicking to enlarge should make things a little better.

Here is the entire French army. Some Bavarians try to secure the French left, leaving the main part of the army to concentrate on punching through the center.

From De nerdibus

French Brigade columns prepare to smash into Austrian lines, with cuirassiers ready to exploit the gap. If I were the Austrians, I would be very very scared.

From De nerdibus

The thin blue line defends a village from the Austrian horde. The houses are 6mm buildings from JR miniatures mounted on an old CD. I think the smaller scale looks appropriate, given the scale of the battle.

From De nerdibus

A brigade of French chevaux-legeres trying to pin down the Austrian flank, with a little help from their Italian buddies to the rear.

From De nerdibus

And here is the whole battlefield, packed tightly with tin. I love the look, but this is way to many troops for anything but a set piece battle. For my test engagement, I'll halve the number of troops on each side.

From De nerdibus

10mm Napoleonic Austrians 95% finished!

2011-05-07T14:22:00.001-07:00

OK, I'm not 100% finished, but I have enough of my 10mm Old Glory Napoleonic Austrians done to lay them out on the table in a pretty impressive diorama. This scene amounts to 30 battalions of infantry (18 line, 6 landwehr, 3 grenadier, and 3 jaeger), 8 regiments of cavalry (4 hussars, 2 dragoons, and 2 cuirassiers), and 12 batteries of artillery (6 heavy and 6 light). All done in under 10 weeks, and I did an equal number of French and allies in that time as well (still need to flock the bases on one French brigade. They should be up later this week).

Then it's time to test the rules I wrote for the first time.

The troops below are set up on a 3' x 4' board I made to re-enact the Battle of Germantown for my senior elective class (that's Germantown Pike in the foreground and the Wissahickon gorge in the background). Who knew the Danube campaign of 1809 spilled over into Pennsylvania?

NOTE: OK, you have to click the photos to see them in their entirety. Seems like blogger.com feels like my pictures need radical cropping.

Here is an infantry brigade. Jaegers in the front, with a line of infantry behind. Several assault columns provide support in the rear.

Another infantry brigade in pretty much the same formation. There is some artillery and a regiment of hussars attached.

The cavalry reserve, Cuirassiers in the foreground, with dragoons on the left in the distance. A regiment of hussars is ready to respond to any emergency.

I love this shot. Austrian heavy guns prepare to pound a distant enemy over the heads of their friends.

Best Mascot Ever

2011-05-03T06:20:00.001-07:00

Charles Barkley once said "I am not a role model." And in response, about a million journalists, teachers, and parents smacked their heads. Of course, you're a role model, Sir Charles. Once you're in the public eye, you're expected to set a good example.

So when a sports figure actually goes out of their way to help others, they deserve praise for living up to their obligations.

I'm speaking, of course, of the Phillie Phanatic.Yesterday, my wife ran the Broad Street Ten-Miler, which was pretty darn impressive on its own. My kids and I participated in the One Mile Fun Run. Tristan bounced along gleefully, looking kind of like Tigger on uppers. Audrey's asthma got the better of her, and after a half a mile she slowed to a walk. She asked to quit, but I tried to keep her walking to the finish line. Finally, about a hundred yards from the finish line, I asked if she could try running, so at least she could finish on a positive not. She would have none of it.

Then a big fuzzy green hand reached out to her. Taking Audrey by the hand, the Phanatic ran with Audrey, who suddenly found it in her to accelerate to a sprint. Grinning broadly and flanked by her two big doofuses, she raced across the finish line and I swore she could have run another mile. Both kids received a medal for their efforts, and they were extremely proud. So was I.

Thanks, big guy! I don't need a magazine to tell me that you're the best mascot in sports. You're more like the best anything anywhere.

Cry, Havoc!

2011-04-22T12:52:00.000-07:00

OK, one thing that bugs me is the way the above line from Henry V is usually taken to mean "Shout and make a lot of noise!" In fact, "havoc" is the Old English term for hawk, so Henry is actually giving a command to his bird, not to his troops.

So there you go.

Anyhow, I just got a shipment of 10mm medieval soldiers from Old Glory, taking full advantage of their 40% discount offer. I plan on using the Basic Impetus rules with them, which have me excited about pre-gunpowder wargaming once again. DBA was just not doing it for me--it drew too many rules lawyers and chess players. I love the element of chance, and I love rules that reward bold strokes and wise restraint. Impetus looks like it fits the bill.

The soldiers look great. They seem to be cleaner casts than the Napoleonic models I bought from the same manufacturer (which were pretty good to begin with). They look fun to paint up. My only concern is in mounting wire spears on both the infantry and cavalry. I've never done that before, and I am notoriously bad at using glue. Wish me luck.

I probably won't start painting these guys up until I am done with my Napoleonic French and Austrians. I'm slowing down with those guys, but I expect to finish with them sometime in June.

Dominica Trip: Getting my history geek on

2011-04-02T07:19:00.000-07:00

My wife and I took our first grownup vacation in six years. We visited the island of Dominica for a week. I liked pretty much everything about the island (except for the terrifying roads). Beautiful scenery, dramatic waterfalls, excellent snorkeling, and a near-total absence of mass-produced tourism.

The island also has a rich history. Passed back and forth between the British and French several times in its colonial existence, both cultures left their mark on Dominican society today. The island was too rugged for the large sugar plantations that made the slave experience so harsh on other islands. Be that as it may, the island was witness to several notable slave revolts, most notably that of the Maroons in the early 19th century. Slaves who escaped and made it to the island's interior could live free of retaliation for years. It was not until 1807 that the British army hunted down the Maroons and executed their leaders in the most violent means imaginable.

There are two very evocative 18th century forts on the island, both worth a visit even for non-history buffs solely for the spectacular scenery.

The first one of these forts we visited is at Scott's Head, at the southern tip of the island. Scott's Head is a small fishing village (with lots of inexpensive snackettes--we had a barracuda lunch) on the rim of a collapsed volcanic crater. It is a top site for Scuba divers, and the snorkeling was not too shabby, either. We saw lots of great sponges, an octopus, and all manner of brilliantly colored fish in two dives there. The view below is looking back at the village from on top of the rocky outcrop that houses the fort. That's the Caribbean on the left and the Atlantic on the right.

The next photo is of Scott's Head itself, guarding the entrance to the harbor. The fort is located at the top of the cliff to the right, right where the bluff seems to level off. You can see it if you zoom in.
The trail is steep but short. There is a ruined magazine where the trail turns right, and a quick march through a lemongrass meadow leads you to the battery.

The main fort on the island is located on the headland at the northern part of the island that is known as the Cabritz, the promontory that looks like a two-humped camel in the photo I took out of the airplane window. The spit of land that connects it to Dominica is marshy, and it is easy to get the sense of why this area was chosen to defend the island and the town of Portsmouth, which sits in a harbor to the south.

This is a view of Fort Shirley, on the southern flank of the Cabritz. Lord Cochrane retreated here when the French briefly took the southern part of the island in 1807. The French decided the fort was not worth the price they would pay to take it, so they looted what they could and retreated to Martinique. For the most part, the fort was situated in the saddle between the two humps of the headland.
A quick climb from the visitor's center leads one to the outer gated of Fort Shirley. Beyond it are the fruits of about a decade of careful restoration work.

Here is the restored battery, with five 36 pounders trained on the harbor where a bunch of millionaires moor their luxury yachts. Note the careful aim I am taking...
This is the fort which guards the inner perimeter of defenses. Attackers would have had to assail three lines of defenses if they wanted to attack from the landward side.

Above is the restored building where junior officers lived. There is a bar and reception hall inside. Well-heeled Dominicans rent it out for weddings.

Above is a plaque signifying that the fort was the site of another anti-colonial revolt. In 1802, the 8th West India Regiment held out for three days. While the Brits responded with their usual reprisals, it did push the crown towards emancipating colonials who fought on behalf of the King.

The coolest site at the fort was a battery on the north side of the headland known as the Logan Battery. The restoration is still underway, and the jungle still claims much of this collection of ruined buildings. A banyan tree grows out of the officers' quarters. A kitchen and magazine stand nearby. Below, Mrs. Mad Doctor explores the ruins, which is home to about 10,000 lizards.

Above is one of three guns that still protect the Logan Battery. The Caribbean is now invisible from the battery ruins. However, the guidebook mentioned that the soldiers stationed here were witness to the Battle of the Saints in 1782, a few miles offshore to the north. I decided to hack my way through the jungle to the water's edge to see if I could see the Isle of the Saints.

Above is the view that I earned for my troubles, which involved a pair of legs that looked like I had tied a dozen angry cats to them. The map says there was a forward battery at the water's edge. All that remains is a pile of rubble that looks like a drystone wall. Through the brambles, you can barely see the island, so the battle took place in the channel between here and there.

Napoleonics Update

2011-03-19T07:56:00.000-07:00

Six weeks into the project, and I have the following painted:

AUSTRIAN
3 Grenadier Battalions
6 Landwehr Battalions
12 Line Battalions
2 Jaeger Battalions
2 Dragoon Regiments
2 Cuirassier Regiments
2 Hussar Regiments
6 Light Guns
3 Heavy Guns
1 Corps Commander
2 Divisional Commanders
6 Brigade Commanders

French
12 Line Battalions
2 Legere Battalions
2 Chevaux-Legeres
2 Cuirassiers
4 Heavy Guns
4 Light Guns
2 Divisional Commanders
6 Brigade Commanders

For a total of
33 Infantry Battalions
4 Skirmisher Battalions
17 Artillery Batteries
10 Cavalry Regiments
17 Officer Stands

Or, in other words, 776 Infantry figures, 97 mounted figures, and 17 guns. All representing over 30,000 soldiers in scale!

In a hole in the ground...

2011-03-17T02:50:00.000-07:00

I suppose I'm too young to have a Bucket List, but if I had one, I would have crossed a major item off of it last night. I started reading The Hobbit to my kids as a bedtime story. We got halfway through the first chapter. They laughed when the dwarves invited themselves into Bilbo's house (manners are a key issue in our house. Naturally they find any literary representation of bad manners, from Bugs Bunny to Calvin and Hobbes, hysterical). Can't wait to spring the Trolls on them.

Nafziger Orders of Battle

2011-03-15T07:37:00.000-07:00

George Nafziger was a man with a passion, and every wargamer alive today owes a debt to him. His scrupulous collection of Orders of Battle is a resource that has inspired countless tabletop battles. When I was coming of age, these documents were the holy grail of military history nerds. Now, thanks to his posthumous generosity, they are now available free online through the archives at Ft. Leavenworth. While some nitpickers may pick nits with a few of his details, I can think of no better way to waste a few hours than by poring over lists relating to campaigns both celebrated and obscure.

See the collection here.

Thank the Nafziger.

Review: 10mm Napoleonics by Old Glory Grand Scale

2011-03-11T01:42:00.001-08:00

From De nerdibus

So, in December, I sold off the last of the 15mm Napoleonics I had accumulated in high school and college. I was a pretty crappy painter then, without much eye for historical detail. I wanted to do Napoleonics right, with crisp-looking uniforms and mountains of lead on the table.

I settled on 10mm. More bang for the buck than 15mm. I had done some 6mm figures a few years back and mounted them for Polemos. They painted up quickly, but they were so small that they didn't look colorful from a distance, and color is part of the fun of Napoleonics.

So I went with 10mm and decided to go with Old Glory. Their "Old Glory Army" promotion was too good to pass up. With 40% off all miniatures, infantry figures cost about $.10 each. I could get two huge armies (French and Austrian) for under $300.

I ordered shortly after Christmas. I was told at the time that a backlog meant that I would have to wait for my order to be completed. In the end, I got my minis in 20 days. I still think that's pretty good, considering they also had to cast the models. A later supplemental order (had to get some English, don't you know) came in about half that time. With good communications, a great price, and timely shipping, I give Old Glory high marks for service.

The figures looked good, better than many 10mm figures I have seen on 10mmworld.com. The infantry were mounted on strips of 5, which pretty much determined how I was going to mount my battalions. The strips were an inch long, although some were slightly longer, forcing me to trim the edges to fit on my bases. For infantry mounted in strips, there is only one pose--marching high port arms. I think this is fine and appropriate for napoleonics, but I think it would be a turn-off if I wanted to game in a later period. I want my ACW Confederates to look ragged, thank you very much. There were five variants among artillery crew, and three basic skirmisher poses (plus command). Cavalry was cast separate from the horses (except for the Polish Lancers). There were three horse variants. A few troopers did not sit cleanly on their mounts and needed some filling.

There was some flash on the tips of the muskets which was easily pulled off with fingertips. Some bases had a nub of lead on the bottom which required a swipe with the hobby knife to remove. Overall pretty clean. Even the individually mounted skirmishers and artillerymen, with their insanely small bases, stood independently with very little work. Gluing them to bases was no problem, even with my clumsy little sausage fingers.

The figures painted up nicely, with just the right amount of sculptural detail for the scale, in my opinion. Too much and the figure looks busy, too little and they become blobs. These guys looked better than my old 15mm despite being much smaller. I did not use shading (pointless at that scale) but I did use a "magic dip" wash, which brought out details and made belts and straps stand out. You can see the results in other posts.

Overall, I'm very happy with Old Glory 10mm's. They have helped re-ignite my passion for the hobby and the period.

First batch finished!

2011-03-08T04:30:00.000-08:00

I am impressed and delighted with how quickly these Old Glory 10mm Napoleonics paint up. Less than a month into the project, and I already have 24 infantry battalions, 8 cavalry regiments, 14 guns, and about a dozen officers painted up, enough for a good-sized rumble. I've put off flocking the bases until now. So last night I added some texture to one of the French batches. here are the results:

From De nerdibus

Here's the whole lot together, about 1/4 of the total troops I have painted so far. It's nice to know that I can do a balanced combat force in about a week from start to finish.

From De nerdibus

Guns! Getting some encouragement from a fast-moving officer, it seems.

From De nerdibus

The French assault column moves into position. The rear rank appears to be in full retreat.

From De nerdibus

French Cuirassiers advancing.

From De nerdibus

The Legere battalion skirmishing.

Paint it black

2011-03-01T02:28:00.000-08:00

From Blogger Pictures

Notice anything in the photo above? I mean, can you make out any detail, period? Neither can I. This is part of an experiment in Changing my Ways. For over 30 years now I have primed my miniatures white. This rendered detail very easy to see, Austrian infantry was ludicrously easy to paint, and I was happy with the results. However, almost every painting guide I read online recommended black primer. So after three decades I gave it a shot.

I nearly freaked when I saw the results. Details which had been so easy to perceive with white primer no looked like little black blobs against a black background. Adding the first block of color--white for lapels and trousers--did little to ease my concerns. However, I found the black to be very forgiving as the figures neared completion. I did not have to cover every nook and cranny with paint as I did with white primer, where unpainted areas gleamed like a beacon. Instead, any unpainted crevices would become instant shading. At worst, they would blend with the wash I use to seal the completed minis.

So the experiment continues through a brigade of French infantry. We'll see how it goes with the Austrian grenadiers coming up next.

A Marshals Baton in Every Backpack

2011-02-15T02:56:00.000-08:00

Below is the first draft of the rules I have written for 10mm Napoleonic gaming. My goal was to make them simple, fun, and to frustrate the hell out of players as they balance the need for action with the need for control.

Enjoy and feedback welcome.

The Rules

The Charts

10mm Austrians

2011-02-13T04:03:00.000-08:00

Well, I sold my entire collection of 15mm Napoleonics in order to buy...10mm Napoleonics. Here's why:

1) I was tired of the amateurish paint job on most of the old figs. No shading, no wash. Just sloppy primary colors.
2) They had been based and rebased so often that it looked like the dog had gotten to them.
3) I liked the idea that I could create true swarms of figures in 10mm, and still have them look pretty good on the table. I was not thrilled with the 6mms I painted up, and while I think Polemos is a great game, I kinda want to see tactical formations on the table.

So I sold the old troops on eBay, joined the Old Glory Army (great deal! 40% off!), and bought a mess of Napoleonic French and Austrians. With the home brew rules I plan to use, I have enough for a large corps on each side, with a corps consisting of 500+ infantry, 80+ cavalry, and 12 guns.

The Austrians painted up quickly. I'm still learning the technique, but I think they look pretty good. I completed this batch--consisting of 6 line infantry battalions, 1 jaeger battalion, 2 dragoon regiments, 3 heavy guns, 2 brigade commanders, and a division commander--in just about a week.

The Austrian Artillery.
My primary reference work claims that the Austrian gunners wore wolf grey. However, every miniature painter online depicts them in brown. I like the brown better, so I went with it.

From Drop Box

Hungarian Line Infantry.
The 'Magic wash' treatment really brings out fine details, even at this scale.

From Drop Box

The Dragoons, with generals and jaegers in the background. As you can see, I still need to texture the bases.

From Drop Box

Here's the whole batch--roughly a division of troops completed in just over a week. I'm well into their French counterparts now. If I keep up this pace, I should have my two corps ready to rumble by April.

From Drop Box

Yippie ki yay!

2011-02-07T10:59:00.000-08:00

So I've decided to write my own rules for an Old West skirmish game. I wanted one where gunfighters could shoot it out, and one in which a tiny band of shootists could tate on an army of Mexican banditos like in The Magnficent Seven. I'll post those rules here when I've completed a draft I'm happy with.

In the meanwhile, I've painted up my first batch of figures, enough for a moderate-sized shootout. The cowboys are "Cowboy Wars," and the banditos are 'Villa Expedition Mexicans' from Old Glory.

I'm testing out the camera on my Droid. The photo quality could be better--I'll keep experimenting.

From Drop Box

"Moo Can"

2011-01-21T16:00:00.000-08:00

My six year old son has been asking for a "moo can" lately. We had no idea what he was talking about until he showed us a scene in "Despicable Me" in which one of the little mutant Corn Pop minions turns over a can and it makes a "mmmooooooo" sound. "Oh," says I, "A moo can."

So it arrives tonight, and the look on the little guy's face was priceless when he figured out what was in the box before he opened it. After mooing for about twenty minutes straight, he looks at me, still delighted, and says "I like it because it's annoying!"

Anyhow, here's where I found one. It was trickier than I thought, since Spencer Gifts closed their doors.

Reviews of Classic DnD Modules 4: (S2) White Plume Mountain

2010-12-17T01:59:00.001-08:00

S2 White Plume Mountain

Experiences and Reminisces: This is one I never owned until my adult years. I remember playing it in Paul Fey’s backyard, where his mom set up a picnic table for gaming al fresco. Playing in this module was like visiting a funhouse. Each room represented a wildly different encounter, which was more or less by design, as this was originally a tournament module. There was a sphinx asking riddles in the first room, a hallway that functioned like a microwave over, swinging chains over lava pits, hallways that turned into rotating cylinders. Damn, this place was wild. But the room that captured my imagination was the “inverted ziggurat,” a stepped arena where each level had a different environment for the monsters that lived there—giant scorpions, sea monsters, and manticores. I don’t remember if we ever recovered even one of the three magic weapons we were looking for, but all of us in the game has a blast.

What Made it Popular? Well, White Plume Mountain did not win praise because of its well-thought out ecology or logical arrangement of rooms. Lawrence Schick, the author, went to great lengths to make each single encounter unusual and memorable. At a time when most TSR produces would describe a room as “Four goblins guarding a chest with 236 sp,” S2 makes sure that players are constantly on their guard, challenging their own first impressions of the situation. Most of the traps had several possible solutions, encouraging creative solutions to problems (judicious use of flight helped us with the inverted ziggurat, if I recall correctly. So, yeah, this is a funhouse. There must be better ways to guard important magical artifacts. But if you can get past the sheer irrationality of the setup, there are far worse ways to spend time in the hobby.

Test of Time. Two subsequent editions were published. The 2E “Return to White Plume Mountain” greatly expanded the dungeon and the history behind it. The dungeons were stocked with copies of the mad mage, who replicated his personality in a host of unpleasant beasties. This creates a political dimension to the dungeon. I admire the sophistication of this adaptation, but I think it loses a lot of the sheer lunatic fun of the tournament challenge that S2 presented. Wizards released an online update for 3.5E that is fairly faithful to the original, with a few updates to promote new rules supplements (such as the “weapons of legacy” and the recently published Fiend Folio.

Given how short the original is (along with the 3.5 update), an experienced party could complete the dungeon in a single long session or perhaps two. White Plume Mountain is an ideal diversion, with unique challenges and rewards. It is well worth looking up and adapting to your game, if only to keep in reserve for that night when everyone is feeling a little silly.

Reviews of Classic DnD Modules 3: City State of the Invincible Overlord (Judges Guild)

2010-12-15T06:22:00.001-08:00

City State of the Invincible Overlord (Judges Guild)

Experiences and Reminisces: I remember playing this one in my friend’s dining room. This was a day of vivid memories for me. My friend had a dog that peed whenever you were nice to it. Someone spilled coke on my character sheet. And for the first time ever, I saw a Judges Guild map. It was on that pebbly golden stock which felt absolutely great. It even looked old. I read on the Necromancer lists that most printers cannot obtain anything even close, so the hope of reproducing them is dim at best. And, best of all, most of the map was blank. It was the players map, which contained only the location and names of the streets and public squares. I caught of glimpse of the GM’s map, and I knew that a vastly detailed city awaited us, just waiting for us to explore.

I grew up on Tolkien, and most of my experiences with D+D to that point were based on the presumption that all fantasy ultimately derived from Lord of the Rings. After all, the four possible races in early editions—human, elf, dwarf, and Halfling—came right form Professor T’s pages. But the City-State gave a glimpse of a fantasy world based on the writings of Howard, Vance, Norton, and Leiber. This was low fantasy, and it offered a whole new world of possibilities. Here, trolls serve as barkeeps and goblins, who lived on a reservation outside of town, came in to perform menial work. There were slaves and red-skinned barbarians and a table to determine a woman’s measurements and “inclinations”—politically incorrect stuff that would never see the light of day in a published gaming supplement these days. But the whole thing was incredibly appealing to my young soul. This was not a world of squeaky-clean good vs. palpable evil. Everything existed in shades of grey, and we could be as bad as we wanted to be.

Our GM fully got us into the spirit of things. My duelist character (a Dragon Magazine subclass, if I recall correctly) wound up getting wings after falling into a magical well. Our party nearly trashed one tavern after picking a fight with some orcish patrons. We all longed after the amazons—beautiful, dangerous, and contemptuous of us, so we just knew that they had good sense.

What Made it Popular? This was the first published city adventure ever, so for a while it stood alone. TSR would go years before they attempted a similar environment, and in my mind they only ever really came close when they adapted Fritz Leiber’s Lankmahr in the late ‘80’s. But every fantasy RPG city I have seen since has been pretty much designed with a single concept in mind, with everything flowing out logically and holistically from that central organizing concept. Usually, a city exists to serve some narrative or thematic purpose in the campaign (much like Minas Tirith and Minas Morgul glare at each other across the pages of Return of the King). CSIO is a chaotic mess, a seemingly random assemblage of taverns, cults, shops, and personalities. Order is supplied by the Overlord, who rules by terror and force. Gods in disguise run shops and cellars open into vast dungeons. Harlots, thieves and lawyers compete to separate the party from their money. This is an environment where anything can happen, and since power goes to the strongest, the sky is the limit for an ambitious character. And let’s not forget those maps…

Test of Time. After several printings and editions of the original work, two subsequent versions were published. The Mayfair Games revival lost more than it gained. The Necromancer Games 3.5 update went back to the content and spirit of the original (although it came with but one map, on plain ol’ glossy paper. *sigh*). The fact that these babies doubled in price on eBay in just a few years speaks volumes about the demand for quality products with an old school feel.

I’ve dusted off the City-State for at least a half-dozen campaigns I have played. It has got to be my most used campaign supplement, and even after all these years it does not feel stale. Sometimes I place it in the Wilderlands, its original campaign home. Sometimes, I shoehorn it into whatever campaign world I happen to be using at the time. As soon as players see the map, they want to explore. I enjoy sharing that magical moment of anticipation with new players. There is enough adventure and intrigue in one quarter of the city-state to keep players out of the dungeon for months. The rumors listed at each location provide dozens of adventure hooks for a GM who is comfortable making things up on the fly.

What would I change? While each shop and tavern is an adventure unto itself, there is not a lot of interaction between the residents of the City-state. Everyone exists in their own little worlds, and the same kind of static ecosystem that was characteristic of old school dungeons seems to inform the City-state. So we get a thieves’ guild, but outside of their home base, we know little about the effect they have on the city. A GM who really wants to breathe life into the City-state, or one who wants to run complex adventures there, will have his or her work cut out for them. Once the players start stirring things up, though, connections should be easy to forge. Once again, though, this mandates a GM who can think on his feet, so be ready.

I saw a copy of the 1979 edition on eBay for $26. It’s in reach, so there’s no excuse for not getting it!

Review of Classic DnD Modules 2: (S1) Tomb of Horrors

2010-12-13T12:48:00.000-08:00

S1 Tomb of Horrors

Experiences and Reminisces: This was the second module I ever bought, after B2. I did not even have the AD+D rules yet, so I only had guideline for making characters through level 3. So suffice it to say that it blew my little adolescent mind away. Even the names of the spells seemed like forbidden knowledge: Power Word Kill, Holy Word, Shatter. I mean, with spells that badass, I knew I just had to move up to ADVANCED Dungeons and Dragons. The three core books made my Christmas list that year.

I ran Tomb of Horrors twice. The first time was with my regular group of players. We ended up with a TPK before the fifth room (the Sphere of Annihilation in the entry corridor took out two PCs. Brutal). The second time I ran it was at the height of D+D’s popularity in the early ‘80’s. Our normal group of six players grew into a mob of fifteen. They all wanted me to DM, so I pulled out Tomb of Horrors. Not the ideal entry into D+D. Many of those who played that day never came back to the game, I am certain. But at least the numbers of players was manageable after thirty minutes of play.

What Made it Popular? Well, there is nothing like ToH. Never has been, never will be again. This is the epitome of a gauntlet, a lethal dungeon environment that eats PCs alive. A player whose character survives this one has something to brag about. Or else they’re a big fat liar. No-one survives S1. Tomb of Horrors is about as far as you can get from the monster-slaughtering funhouse of the Keep on the Borderlands. While the introductory adventure pits characters against hordes of mundane monsters, Acerak’s tomb is one long series of puzzles and traps. There might be a half-dozen combats in the entire module, if characters go looking for them.

There has to be a reason beyond nostalgia that Tomb of Horrors has been published by TSR/Wizards for every single edition of D+D. No other module can claim that distinction. Perhaps gamers are masochists at heart. More likely, DM’s are probably sadists at heart. It is worth noting that every new edition of Tomb of Horrors is a little less lethal than the one that precedes it. For instance, the archway of orange mists that changes a character’s gender and alignment in the first edition version had the potential to destroy a party from within if a player was willing to play along. In the 4^th edition version, the character still suffers a permanent gender switch (to keep the pervy hentai set happy, no doubt) but the alignment reversal has been mollified to a few rounds of berserk rage. After that, things go back to normal, with innies and outies reversed.

However, I think the reason that so many old timers like me feel nostalgic for the Tomb is that we, like Mr. Gygax, came out of a wargaming environment. Player characters int he old days were not so much alter-egos as they were units to be maneuvered on the board to win a tactical challenge. We were as likely to refer to characters as "the elf" and "the cleric" as we were to call them by their names. Sure, we identified with our characters, and it was hard to see them die, but when the character creation process consists of six rolls of 3d6, there's really nothing to creating a replacement for an old character. in the old days, we did not spend a lot of energy coming up with backgrounds and motivations for our characters. They existed to loot dungeons, and the Tomb of Horrors represented the ultimate challenge. It was the big game, and underdog players hoped to pull off a miracle upset. Things have changed since then, and though I get nostalgic sometimes, I would have to say for the better. Tomb of Horrors survives as a relic and a curiosity from the old days. These Fourth Edition kids can hold on to the newly-installed safety rails to get a taste of what it was like in the frontier days of D+D.

Test of Time. Would I play this today? Well, maybe. If the players involved knew what they were in for, and they had a pack of back-up characters prepped and ready to go to fill party losses. Or maybe I would add a “respawn” option, with some minor penalty accruing for each loss of life, to give the players a fair shot at finishing the dungeon. I often thought about running this game but allowing the players metagaming knowledge. They could not research the game while they were playing, but they would be free to use any information they remembered from playing the game in the past. Perhaps the characters are modern gamers sucked into a fantasy world. Perhaps they read diaries of other adventurers who attempted the tomb. Whatever. I would never, ever just send players in unprepared.

To me, Tomb of Horrors represents Gygax at his worst: a controlling, sadistic DM out to butcher his players and then laugh about it. I have known two gamers who have played with Gygax and they both recounted similar stories of frustration as he wiped out their players and then gloated about it. Interestingly, there is a note to beginning GM’s at the beginning of B2 to NOT behave in this way. I wonder if Mr. Gygax had a revelation, or if he just started to lose friends.

Reviews of Classic DnD Modules 1: (B2) The Keep on the Borderlands

2010-12-10T10:00:00.000-08:00

B2 Keep on the Borderlands

Experiences and Reminisces: The Keep on the Borderlands was the first D&D module I ever owned, purchased in 1979. It was bundled with the “Blue Box” rules, the ones that took you character to level three and had dragon on the cover that was a pretty cheesy ripoff of Smaug from the Rankin-Bass production of The Hobbit. I spent endless hours playing this scenario, mainly because it was the only one we had. Usually I gamed with just another friend or two, since the heyday of D&D was still a few years off, and only the seriously nerdy were willing to give the game a try. I still have my copy, covered in penciled notes in my shaky seventh-grade hand. The map of the keep and the lands around it, is worn so thoroughly that it looks and feels like rag paper. Curiously, I made no notes on or alteration to the map of the Caves of Chaos.

As much as I played this scenario with my friends, I have few recollections of actual game play. I remember rolling up characters in this period, and I remember moments from other adventures I played in middle school. This one is just a blur…oh, wait. I think I remember an encounter with the gelatinous cube. How sad is that?

What Made it Popular? Well, for a while, it was the only game in town. B1 (In Search of the Unknown) was hard to find, because it had been bundled with an earlier printing. The AD&D modules were just on the horizon, and I believe that S1 had just been published (Imagine if THAT was your first experience with D&D!). That said, I believe that a lot of gamers have a soft spot for B2 which goes beyond “You never forget your first one.” The Caves of Chaos are pretty much a hackfest. When you’re a nerdy twelve-year old kid, that’s pretty much all you want out of gaming (I remember endlessly sketching various types of polearms in my school books in those days). The setup for B2 was pretty simple: a safe base of operations, a fairly small and well-defined wilderness (only four encounters prepared, with the option for the DM to add more), and a rather unusual dungeon built around a box canyon, with a fairly clear hierarchy of difficulty laid out for the players. Many old hands like myself get misty for the days of “old school” gaming. Well this was it. No narrative for the DM to railroad his players through, no boxed text. Just kick in the door and kill the beasties.

Test of Time Some serious adaptation would have to be done to make B2 palatable for modern gamers. I never really understood the Keep when I was a wee one. None of the characters within have any personality of note. Indeed, they don’t even have names. It was years before I learned that “Castellan” was a title, not a man’s name. Unless players actually actively seek to cause trouble, nothing of interest will ever occur in the Keep. It’s just a place to resupply and…well…nothing.

The wilderness are needs to be shaken up to. There was an effort to add depth to the Borderlands in the “Return to the Keep on the Borderlands” update, issued about a decade ago. It’s more than the number of potential encounters that the wilderness section needs. It’s the sense that it is completely unconnected to either the Keep or the Caves of Chaos. I mean, here we have to strongholds at war with each other, and neither one is active in the few miles of frontier that separate them? I find that hard to swallow.

And the Caves of Chaos are what they are. Few published adventures have lined up such a buffet table of humanoids, waiting for the slaughter. Some critics have pointed out that the mix of races and alignments would result in a violent (and probably rather short) clash. Those critics aren’t much fun. One could, of course, rationalize such a strange and strained political situation, as the authors of “Return to the Keep on the Borderlands” did, by assuming that some higher power (such as the priests in the highest caves) is imposing order on the humanoids below to serve some nefarious scheme. But such adjustment is not necessary if B2 is run as what it was meant to be: an introductory module designed to teach new players the ropes. If the Caves have a weakness, it is in the monotony of the encounters. Fighting bands of humanoids is all well and good, but such fights dominate B2 to the near-exclusion of traps, puzzles, and more unusual monsters. Of course, a clever DM could add the opportunity to negotiate with the humanoids and throw in an occasional trap or riddle. A DM with experienced players would almost have to do that.

I always thought B2 would be an ideal setting for a fantasy setting of Feng Shui, the HK-style martial arts RPG. That game has rules for combats against large numbers of nameless mooks that might suit a romp through B2.

Tales of the Arabian Nights: A Review

2010-04-14T14:59:00.000-07:00

Tales of the Arabian Nights

Published by ZMan Games (2009)

Back in college, I had a long and spirited argument with a friend about the role of the critic. He maintained that the critic’s main responsibility was to articulate his reaction to a work, making clear his reasons for his like or dislike of his subject. My position was that the critic should distance himself from his own opinions, listing the strengths and weaknesses of a work and identifying those people who would be an audience for it.

The reissue of Tales of the Arabian Nights is sure to draw strong positive and negative reactions from gamers. I feel that if I gave my own reactions, it would come across as narrow, subjective, and parochial. So, I will attempt to channel my college-age self, putting forth the many strengths of the game while describing what I acknowledge to be potential pitfalls. Certain elements of the gaming community will loathe a game like this, while others will put it on their all-time top ten list.

First of all, few could argue that, visually, the art is top notch. The map had been the strength of the 1985 West End edition, and the new one pushes it to a new level. It is more readable and easy to use than the original map, and both the design and color are lush and evocative. The cards and other components represent a vast improvement over the original. What had been crude cardboard chits with silhouette artwork have been replaced by full color, high-quality cards, die-cut pieces, and stand-up player pieces. I’m sure the lavishness of the game design added a few dollars to the price, but I am glad that ZMan did not skimp. For lovers of the game, the physical components of the game feel like a reward for years of dedication.

For those new to the game, players take turns moving their pieces in a nonlinear manner around the board. The goal is to acquire a predetermined number of Destiny and Story Points, obtained through encounters. A player has at least one encounter on each of their turns. A roll of the die sends a reader to the “Book of Tales,” a collection of nearly three thousand paragraphs, which guide the players through short adventures similar to the old “Choose your Own Adventure” books. Players must pick how their hero reacts to an encounter from a predetermined list of responses, like grovel, pray, beat, or avoid. Along the way, players acquire skills which often (but not always) improve the result of an encounter. In addition to the aforementioned Story and Destiny Points, players can gain or lose wealth (which affects movement) and statuses (like Accursed, Enslaved, Greif-Stricken, Sex-Changed, or Imprisoned). Interaction between players is minimal, unless special variants are brought into play.

Results are often counter-intuitive. In one game, a player gained the status “Lost” in his home city. Another wound up getting “Married” to a same sex partner (I suspect that, while enlightened, the medieval Islamic world was not THAT tolerant!). Sometimes seemingly foolish decisions lead to good results (you might beat a powerful wizard only to have him offer you a valuable ransom, while if you attack a vile thief you might end up in prison, as the thief was really a prince in disguise). Even with a good set of skills, players often find themselves at the mercy of seeming capricious turns of fate.

I could not in good conscience recommend this game to a player who feels that their decisions alone should lead to victory or defeat in a game. Our most recent game took place alongside a game of Diplomacy, and the contrast between the two groups of players could not have been more distinct. For the Diplomacy players, games were all about strategy—making plans and making good decisions to realize them. Yet it was the people playing Arabian Nights who more often exploded into hoots of laughter and spontaneous cheers. Relinquishing control to fate can have its appeal, too, as long as the player can occasionally steer things in a desired direction. Anything can happen in Tales of the Arabian Nights, and every turn brings surprises and wonders. Thus, the game captures the spirit of mystery and adventure inherent in the source materials, from the original texts (I prefer the translation of Husein Haddawy) through the cheesy Harryhausen Sinbad films, through Disney’s Aladdin. I can’t think of a board game I’ve had more fun playing, even if my strategic senses were not always fully engaged.

Politifact

2010-03-14T03:34:00.000-07:00

In this day and age of shrill pundits and polarized political dialectic, one needs an objective fact-checking system more than ever. So allow me to get my plug in for politifact.

Our last bastion of defense against truthiness (pace, Colbert).

Evony

2010-03-01T17:29:00.000-08:00

OK, I've been a fan of sim games ever since the first SimCity. I was hooked on all versions of Civilization, and I've spent more hours on the Sims than I care to mention. My latest obsessive sim game is Evony, which has the advantage of being free and browser-based. It's pretty typical of the genre. In many ways, it hearkens back to early versions of Civilization and Age of Empires. A lot of resource management, tedious maintenance of cities, and large-scale lopsided combat. Good times. Below is a screenshot typical of the game.Now I must confess that it took a long time to disover this game. To be honest, I was more than a little turned off by the advertising, which promised...shall we say, a different sort of gaming experience.I mean, really. The sex appeal of shifting around troops, gold, and resources is limited at best, but the adverts to this game promise tons of jiggle. I'm sure this relentless ad camapign drew in thousands of thirteen year old boys, but it was not until the ads appeared which made it clear that the game was a sim did I join up. I did learn something valuable, though.

Thirteen year old boys suck at sim games. Like shooting fish in a barrel...

When life gives you lemons...

2010-02-26T07:53:00.000-08:00

...or big piles of snow, make lemonade. or a snowy pieta. My art history class decided to have a play day this past Friday as the school was shutting down. I challenged them to make like Michelangelo.

GA Wargames: Squad Leader

2009-11-27T09:38:00.000-08:00

I've adapted good old Squad Leader/Cross of Iron for 20mm tabletop wargaming. I'm testing out the rules with the wargames club for which I am faculty adviser. With its turn-based mechanics, the rules seem quaint, but the basics are easy to explain, gameplay is fast, and so far it has been fun.

I'm particularly proud of the terrain. I'm really starting to get into the modeling aspects of the hobby. With a hot-wire styrofoam cutter, a color printer, and some scratch-built houses, hedges, and fields, this setup beats the hell out of the pold "pieces of felt" terrain we had been using.

At right, German Pioneers scramble for cover behind their one remaining halftrack after an American AT gun scrapped the second one. Can the Yanks hold off the Panzers and Panzergranadiers long enough, until their own armored and para reinforcements arrive?

German infantry, supported by two PZ III's, try to flank the American position by fording the shallow river. If they succeed, the entire Salerno bridgehead might be in jeopardy...

An American platoon considers crossing the stream to reinforce the beleaugured Yank outpost. Deciding to hold their position behind a hedge, the Americans watch forlornly as their friends are overrun.

Parlez-vous fillelfian?

2009-10-25T12:25:00.000-07:00

Yeah, big surprise.

What American accent do you have? Your Result: Philadelphia Your accent is as Philadelphian as a cheesesteak! If you're not from Philadelphia, then you're from someplace near there like south Jersey, Baltimore, or Wilmington. if you've ever journeyed to some far off place where people don't know that Philly has an accent, someone may have thought you talked a little weird even though they didn't have a clue what accent it was they heard.
The Midland
The Northeast
The South
Boston
The Inland North
The West
North Central
What American accent do you have? Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

Ah...the Guild

2009-10-20T09:21:00.000-07:00

OK, like, I was probably the last nerd on the planet to see "The Guild," which brings my nerd cred seriously into question (though I got serious props from one of my freshmen last week, who said "Rabuck, I think you're the only teacher on campus who can even pronounce the word "Manga").

I don't even do online gaming, and I find this show hysterical. The characters are all repulsive in their own way, yet the actors are deft enough to make us feel sympathy for them.

The recurring role played by Wil Wheaton has transformed him from the actor I most loathed to one I find intelligent, artful, and wickedly funny. His Chaos character in "The Guild" is about 180 degrees from Wesley Crusher, and Wheaton clearly has a ball playing an incarnation of pure evil. It's not just Codex who gets the serious skeevies from Wil in the following episode...

<a href="http://video.msn.com/?mkt=en-US&from=sp&vid=58dc04b6-be05-47a7-8296-a61186029f0a" target="_new" title="Season 3: Gag Reel - Episodes 5-8">Video: Season 3: Gag Reel - Episodes 5-8</a>

Battle of Germantown, 3 Oct, 2009

2009-10-03T14:25:00.000-07:00

This year, I took my son to the re-enactment of the Battle of Germantown, which takes place at Cliveden, formerly known as the Chew House. The Chew House was the site of the battle's turning point, and it provides a great backdrop for this annual commemoration. For details of the event see revolutionarygermantown.org.

This guy is one of the best interpreters I have ever seen, period. He spins a compelling tale about the role of blacks in both the British and Continental armies. He does it with humor, insight, and showmanship. Bravo!

Here come the generals, sharing a peaceful moment together before hostilities erupt

"May I have a photo, sir?"
"There's a price. You must name my unit."
"You're a Hessian grenadier."
"Correct. You may take your photograph."
Score!

This private from the 1st R.I. agreed to a photograph without a trivia challenge.

It just wouldn't be a re-enactment without highlanders, now, would it? Perhaps they would paint themselves blue if I asked?

The guy in the foreground was pretty funny. He broke ranks to come chat with us punters while his unit was stationed in reserve.

Get that gun into position!

The militia on parade.

The Pennsylvania rifles. The actual unit was positioned a few miles away, near the Rittenhouse Town mill. But we're all glad they showed up.

The Continental army makes ready to advance on the Chew House.

But the British stand ready.

Washington's army gives as good as they get.

Out boys from Pennsylvania harry the British flank.

Hold the line!

The British retreat into the Chew House.

My son, who thought the loud noises were great, was seriously worried about the welfare of the horse.

Alas, the rebels are once again stymied by the defense of the Chew House. Perhaps next year can bring a different result...

Sign of the Zombie Times

2009-10-02T09:10:00.000-07:00

OK, I'm as bored to death with the zombie theme as anyone, but the U of Florida seems motivated more by humorlessness than by any attempt to kill a cultural leitmotif whose time is rapidly passing.

I was impressed that they had zombie-survival tips on their official website. Was there really a threat that someone might take the page seriously? Or that it would somehow impair students from acting appropriately in the event of a real emergency? Perhaps the greatest threat to free expression lies not in the political left or the right, but in the humorless conformity of the center.

2009-08-13T06:45:00.001-07:00

OK, I'm reading In God We Trust, All Others Pay Cash by Jean Shepherd. You know, the book that A Christmas Story is based on, as well as the straight-to-video sequel which I linked to months ago. Shepherd's style is purple prose at its best, so over the top that you just have to laugh at it. Few other writers make the tribulations of daily life sound so heroic, which is why I guess he still has a following ten years after his death.

Anyhow, another portion of the book was made into a film for American Playhouse some time back. It was titled The Great American Fourth of July (and Other Disasters) and it came out in 1982, a year before A Christmas Story. It starred a young Matt Dillon as a teenage Ralphie and a cast of spot-on other players (with a less doofus-y actor to play Ralph's dad).

Anyhow, some gallant soul made the video available on youtube, but--alas--the sound is about ten seconds out of synch. If anyone knows where I can get a vhs or dvd copy...PLEASE! I BEG YOU!!!